WHY DO TEENAGERS RUN AWAY FROM THEIR HOMES?

Written by: Lim Yee Huat

As we read in the newspapers on the subject of missing persons, we can’t help but notice that cases of missing teenagers have increased sharply in recent years. Teenagers, in particular, seem most vulnerable to the lures of the sinful pleasures of the world and are victims enslaved in the indulgence of forbidden pleasures. Having said that, it remains a painful fact that the powers of the day, the Education Department, teachers, parents and society at large, have not been able to cope effectively with this perennial issue. Are there some crucial issues that we have overlooked or is it a new phenomenon that is threatening the tranquility of our modern day Malaysian society? Rightfully, one of the most taunting questions in the minds of educationists today is “Why do teenagers run away from their homes?’

Teenagers undergo a certain amount of ‘growing pains’. Apart from the unfamiliar physiological changes that involve rapid physical maturity and increased hormonal activities in their physical bodies; they have to grapple with the ‘generation gap’ with their parents. Some teenagers lack the mental maturity, the much-needed parental support and guidance to tread the uncharted journey of their teenage period. Needless to say, the autonomy to run their lives often causes conflicts with their parents. Teenagers, at this stage of searching for self-identities and purposes of living, are easily hurt by their parents’ autocratic and ‘parents-know-all’ syndrome. They are confused over their parents’ restrictive and seemingly idiosyncratic commands. All too often, they fall prey to the snares and sweet-talks of unscrupulous friends to run away from their homes in search of freedom, happiness and fulfillment.

It is a widely known fact that sexual innuendoes are found everywhere: in print media as well as animated digital forms. Newspapers, magazines, books, DVDs (Digital Video Disks), VCDs (Video Compact Disks), movies, and television shows are full of sexual suggestive materials. Having being bombarded by these unhealthy materials, they become easy preys to those drug-peddlers, pimps, and even fellow teenagers who have distorted perceptions of sexual gratifications. Once they indulge in these unwholesome activities, they become enslaved addicts; unable to break free even if they wanted to! What follows are falling grades, playing truancy, keeping late nights, and distancing themselves from their parents. The serious cases would involve stealing, extortion and even robbing to suppress their insatiable craves. By now, conflicts with parents coupled with self-denial of their waywardness will inevitably drive many of them to run away from their quarrelsome and unhappy homes.

The break down of a family unit is an important cause for teenagers to run away from homes. As the proverb says, ‘Like father like son’, we know that children often learn and imitate their parents’ behaviour.  While adults are preaching on the importance of a righteous living; are they living out what they have preached? Or are they contradicting what they have said and are they themselves being slaves to cigarettes, drugs, alcohol consumption and even immoralities. Another proverb that goes this way, ‘What you do speaks so loud that I can’t hear what you say’ perhaps sums up the general feelings of the teenagers. Many married people are involved in extra-marital affairs that contribute to the split-up of families. Studies by psychologists have revealed that the trauma of divorce leaves deep psychological and emotional scars in the lives of innocent third-parties, the children.   

While it is true that modernisation and industrialisation have brought much wealth; they have altogether brought a lot of social ills to our world. Nation wise, we are plagued with issues in energy, security, economical and ecological aspects. More importantly, the family unit is breaking apart under the tremendous societal pressures. For instance, dual working parents are beleaguered with work pressures and are spending long hours in the offices. As a result, home-education is left to foreign maids; worse still, some teenagers are left at homes without adult supervision. In order to make up for not spending enough time with their children, they shower them with excessive materials- mobile phones, large pocket allowances, cars and et cetera. Even though this may soothe parents’ taunting guilty conscience; it further renders their children vulnerable to materialism, indulgence in unhealthy substance abuses and sexual experimentations.

What about the unhealthy lifestyles that our society has portrayed? Come to think of it, it is heart-rending that society has failed to set good examples for our children to emulate. Our forefathers lived pious, honest, law-abiding, morally upright lives. In contrast, all too often, television sitcoms, big screened motion pictures, idolized artistes convey lifestyles that are full of sexual promiscuity. Pre-marital cohabitation and pregnancies as well as abortions of unborn babies are accepted as a norm in a degrading and sick society. Fictional stories of successful single parenthood and their so-called advantages are sending wrong messages to our younger generations. There are strong undertones that pre-marital sexual engagements are the in-thing and are blindly followed by those gullible teenagers!

Unless every stakeholder in our society wakes up to the fact that the pathetic conditions of our teenagers today are a by-product of our sinful indulgences, there is little hope of curbing the running-away of teenagers from their homes. Societal expectations and peer pressures force teenagers to conform to the status-quo. Many times, they run away from their oft-empty and loveless families in search of the elusive ‘happiness and fulfilments’ in the outside world; only to be terribly let-down and disillusioned by a callous society.